


in looking back, i see nothing to regret (and little to correct)

by kayteedancer



Series: November Challenge [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: And Neither Does Jane, Crack, Gen, I have no regrets, absolute crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-28 20:02:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12614356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayteedancer/pseuds/kayteedancer
Summary: “Jane’s Science Minion Extravaganza,” she read incredulously, scrolling past the tacky graphic of Minions with balloons and beakers.  “Come hang out in the Star Lab and really get to know the other Minions!  The extravaganza will start at 8:00 and go until the sun comes up.  Make sure you bring your lab coat and yourself; everything else will be provided.  Love, Your Gracious Overlord (Jane).”Darcy shook her head and clickedDecline.





	in looking back, i see nothing to regret (and little to correct)

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my fill for Day 2! I was in a crack-y mood, I guess. I've never really written crack before, so let me know what you think! The prompt was, "No. Regrets." If you have something you'd like to see me write, feel free to prompt me on tumblr (sleepeatdancedream)! Enjoy!
> 
> Title is a quote by John C. Calhoun.

Darcy loved her days off; she guarded them jealously.  She would say that she loved her weekends, but when they usually occurred in the middle of the week it was easier to say days off.  Jane owned her five days out of seven, but those last two were _entirely Darcy’s_.

So when Darcy had gotten an invite from Jane to an event for Wednesday, one of her off-days, she had almost immediately dismissed it out of hand. But, curious, she clicked it open. 

“Jane’s Science Minion Extravaganza,” she read incredulously, scrolling past the tacky graphic of Minions with balloons and beakers.  “Come hang out in the Star Lab and really get to know the other Minions!  The extravaganza will start at 8:00 and go until the sun comes up.  Make sure you bring your lab coat and yourself; everything else will be provided.  Love, Your Gracious Overlord (Jane).”

Darcy shook her head and clicked _Decline_.  “You’re not getting another one of my days, Boss Lady,” she muttered as she closed her laptop and went to bed.

Darcy really didn’t know what to expect when she walked into the Star Lab on Thursday morning, but it was definitely not what she found.

Jane’s lab was almost entirely covered in a layer of purple goo; excuse her, _glittery_ purple goo.  Jane’s assistants (Minions) were huddled in a massive puddle in one corner of the lab, their skin dyed a lurid orange and their lab coats cocooning them in a giant white nest.  Minion 1 (also known as Daniel) was clutching a beaker full of glitter-goo to his chest, Minion 2 (Alejandra)’s hair had turned pink and was now shaved on one side, Minion 3 (Niya) was curled around Minion 4 (Mason)’s head with science equations sprawled over their bodies in red marker and Minion 5 (Drew) had lost their pants.  Darcy looked around and spied them on top of the centrifuge.

Scratch that; partially _inside_ the centrifuge.

Darcy crept her way through the lab as quietly as possible, trying her hardest not to wake the sleeping Minions as she searched for their Overlord.  She found Jane curled up on top of her desk, a pool of calculations and notes covering the floor around her.  Jane’s skin was the same orange color as the Minions’, but her hair was an exact match to the purple of the goo.  As Jane shifted slightly in her sleep, Darcy watched it glint in the light.

Sighing heavily, Darcy picked her way over to Jane and began poking her in the cheek.  “Jane,” she whispered. “Jaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnneeeeee.”

Jane batted at the finger poking her as her eyes slit open.  Hissing at the light, Jane flopped on her back and threw her arm over her eyes.  “Darcy, whhhhyyyyy?”

“Boss Lady, it’s 9:00AM on Thursday.  You know, when work normally starts?” Darcy murmured, cocking her head to the side.

“No, Head Minion.  No work after extravaganzas,” Jane groaned loudly.  Darcy saw the Minion Puddle shift in her peripheral vision then settle again.

“What even happened here, Jane?” Darcy asked, gesturing at the destruction of the lab.  “It looks like World War III: Glitter Edition in here!”

Jane rolled to her side and opened her eyes just enough to squint at her surroundings.  Flopping back, Jane smiled her largest, most maniacal smile.  “No. Regrets."


End file.
